I returned last night from 4 weeks leisure in Europe. Well, I suppose it's not quite accurate to say that the entire trip was leisurely. Lugging around your luggage through cobblestone streets, breaking shoes, scars on my feet, and stomach problems are not leisurely, but I wouldn't take a day back if you promised me a lifetime more. And I'm not complaining at all; I loved it.
The reason I wanted to mention my trip was not to boast about it, but because of its significance to my leaving for Moldova. Upon returning, I had ten more days in California. I now have nine. There were times when I thought I should have planned for more time at home between my two excursions, but as my dad said about moving out a long time ago: You're never ready till you do it.
And that's how I feel about the Peace Corps. You see, about half way through our trip, when we were in Barcelona, I had a little episode of cold feet. Hot feet seems more just, because cold feet don't run, and my feet wanted to sprint. Running on coals, chasing a train. That's how I felt. I didn't want to go away for two years. I didn't want to commit to something else. (Many of you know how I feel about any type of commitment at the moment) I did NOT want to go to Moldova. I thought: Maybe I will just try to find a similar one-year program. Maybe I will wait and do a PC project next year, see how I feel then. But we all know what happens when people keep saying "next year." They don't do it. I wanted to take more time to travel around, to see new places and new faces, to travel around spontaneously with no one and nothing keeping me in one particular place, no one else to accommodate.
That feeling got even worse when we were in France, because I've wanted to move to France to expedite my french skills, to write a novel, to eat the food, to travel south of Paris. Paris also made it more difficult because I had to say my first "farewell." Well, actually, when Mike and Angie dropped me off at the Charleston airport in July and I looked after their blue van, I realized I wouldn't see them for a few years. THAT was my first goodbye. But it's different with friends, I suppose, because I'm used to seeing Liz multiple times a year. And now, in Paris, I said goodbye knowing I would likely not see her until I came home from service....in 2009. (I love you Liz, and I am so glad that I was able to spend such a romantic city with you!)
Somewhere in my travels, I settled down. The travelling wore me out - a little, as I will never get tired of travelling - and I was relatively ready to come home. I think part of the problem was that "coming home" meant "facing leaving again." But, in London, Alan reminded me how quickly two years will go by. As simple a statement as that, it was very necessary. It was also wonderful to know that the Scales family will be in London while I'm in Moldova. It's not the same region, but it's definitely Europe. Thank you all, by the way, because your support and love was more appreciated than I can ever express. And thank you Mike and Cindy Gold for all of your effort in connecting me to Moldova and making sure I would be welcomed and accommodated. It's also wonderful to know that Prague is just a short plane flight away. That's not silly complimentary banter; it's truly reassuring.
So, here I am. Nine days left in California, grateful that my two days staging is in Washington D.C. so I can see my brother up until the last possible moment, jumping beans in my stomach, not quite procrastinating but definitely taking my time to "get my stuff together" before I leave.
There is nothing too crazy to do, but a lot of little things. When I was on the plan home, I prayed that I would not stress during these last ten days, that I would appreciate them. Only ten days, Samantha, you have to deal with it. I have accepted that I cannot possibly see everyone that I want to see before I go...
Which reminds me: party...friday...our house. Nothing crazy, but I WOULD like to see as many people as possible before I go. Bring a dish or a drink, and your camera, of course. Everyone is welcome.
I've also really missed some home cooking. And then realized that missing it after one month is nothing compared to missing it after two years. I'm very spoiled with my parents' cooking, and now I have to live without it. Now I will be living with another family and experiencing THEIR home cooking. But we all know it's not the same. This week will be jam-packed with my favorite dishes - very exciting!
It was interesting to live with less for these past four weeks. For Michael and Kat, it was a chance to realize what they will appreciate when they get home (except for Kat, who won't have clothes dryers next Spring). For me, it was an opportunity to practice not having certain amenities. Like private bathrooms. Or air conditioning. Or keyboards with letters in weird places. But I LOVED not having a cell phone. Except of course when I had people who were waiting on me...
Thank you to everyone that shared this summer with me. Thank you for the people who speak other languages for reminding me how much I LOVE languages and how excited I am to learn another one soon. Thank you for those who shared local foods and drinks (and bought me drinks). Thank you to those who offered their homes and their time and their jokes. Thank you for the horrible play with Orlando Bloom for reminding me how much I love theatre. Thank you for those who wrote to me or called me while I was away; your thoughts were very needed, especially when I was in doubt of my decisions.
Back to some responsibility now. I have some calls to make, some things to get in order, some items to pack up (emotionally and literally). "It's grown up time," as Kat and I discussed. Well, considering my favorite character is Peter Pan, I don't think it's every quite grown up time. But something like it, maybe.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Wine and Outhouses
I received an invitation to serve in MOLDOVA! The packet got to my parents on Tuesday and they sent it to me in South Carolina. I read it on Thursday...and then I looked up where Moldova is.
On Thursday, I was rather lazy all day. Not exactly morose. Not sad. Not eager either. But when I saw the UPS truck I was instantly giddy. I skipped/hopped back to the car and let out a little giggle. When I opened the three envelopes, there it was - in pink highlighter, nonetheless: MOLDOVA.
The excitement faded as I read the information packet they sent me. Thursday ended as solitary as it had started.
However, Friday and Saturday were much more energized. I read pages upon pages about Moldova, about the people, the culture, the assignment. Likely, I won't have running water and I'll be speaking ROMANIAN! I had only known one person who spoke Romanian, and she was my French teacher. There is a chance that I will speak Russian, as some of the larger (but not large by any definition) towns predominantly speak Russian.
Since then, I've come home from the beach with what felt like fifty pounds of seashells, Grace's new lizard, and an uncontainable excitement about going to Moldova. In two days I'll be in Northern California. In two weeks from today I 'll be on a plane to Dublin. In seven weeks from yesterday, I'll be heading to my two-day staging/orientation somewhere in the US and then heading to Moldova. That is, of course, if I accept the invitation. I don't see any reason why I wouldn't or shouldn't. I told myself that I would accept the invitation unless I felt like it was essentially wrong for me. I put my trust in God and the Placement Office. I would go where I was needed and I would reinvent my understand of human need, break my ignorance of what poverty looks like. My biggest hesitation and, simultaneously, my biggest fascination is that I will have considerable freedom. I will not have a Drill Sargent over my shoulder making sure I get up in the morning or that I do my share. This is, perhaps, my biggest challenge at home and may be a smart lesson to embrace, or it may be personally naive.
Dates are "subject to change," of course, but if all goes as scheduled I will leave September 9, 2007 for staging in the U.S., will start training in Moldova on September 12 to November 16, and will be an official PC Volunteer from November 17, 2007 to November 16, 2009.
Scratch the "if I accept" because I just called the Peace Corps office and accepted! Here we go! On to a country about the size of Maryland with bountiful wine country and bountiful sunshine! (Which is very important because I get depressed when it's gloomy). On to a country where the women wear dress suits and almost everyone uses an outhouse. See! I wanted a hut in the Sahara and now I get a hut in wine country! Well, we'll see how "hut-like" my village is. I could be in a town of 10,000 or a village of 1,000. But onward ho!
But, leaving South Carolina, I realized that as Mike and Angie and the kids were driving away, it was already the beginning of Moldovan life. I was already saying goodbye. As their blue van drove away it, hit me. I'd said it outloud, but I hadn't felt it until then: I will not see you for another two point five, likely three, years. And I cried a little. But people are wonderful and strangers on the plane offered their assisntance. "If you EVER need ANYTHING in Moldova." It was unexpected and totally inspiring that someone would offer, out of the blue, for resources. People have so much to offer eachother if we take the time to talk. I've picked up three email addresses. All from men, ironically. Two of the men gave me the numbers of their ex or their female friend who was either in the Peace Corps or spoke Romanian. So many people are connected to eachother and we don't realize it unless we talk about it. So and so knows someone who went to Moldova. So and so knows someone who is in the Peace Corps. "Will you be able to date the locals?" That's not really my focus right now. Two of my favorite females have already looked up the "gorgeous Moldovan men" and the "lush green" mountains. All I pray for at this point is the freedom from expectations. I want to appreciate EVERYTHING.
Here is the address where you can write to me during training September 12 - Nov 16, 2007:
Samantha Marangell, PCT
Corpul Pacii
Str. Grigore Ureche 12
2001 Chisinau
Republica Moldova
**Make sure you don't use regular envelopes because apparently people are skeptical that money is inside. Use padded envelopes or manila ones.
** AND A BIG GOING AWAY PARTY SCHEDULED FOR FRIDAY AUG. 31st. Everyone's invited. Mom and dad, surprise! More details to come. **
On Thursday, I was rather lazy all day. Not exactly morose. Not sad. Not eager either. But when I saw the UPS truck I was instantly giddy. I skipped/hopped back to the car and let out a little giggle. When I opened the three envelopes, there it was - in pink highlighter, nonetheless: MOLDOVA.
The excitement faded as I read the information packet they sent me. Thursday ended as solitary as it had started.
However, Friday and Saturday were much more energized. I read pages upon pages about Moldova, about the people, the culture, the assignment. Likely, I won't have running water and I'll be speaking ROMANIAN! I had only known one person who spoke Romanian, and she was my French teacher. There is a chance that I will speak Russian, as some of the larger (but not large by any definition) towns predominantly speak Russian.
Since then, I've come home from the beach with what felt like fifty pounds of seashells, Grace's new lizard, and an uncontainable excitement about going to Moldova. In two days I'll be in Northern California. In two weeks from today I 'll be on a plane to Dublin. In seven weeks from yesterday, I'll be heading to my two-day staging/orientation somewhere in the US and then heading to Moldova. That is, of course, if I accept the invitation. I don't see any reason why I wouldn't or shouldn't. I told myself that I would accept the invitation unless I felt like it was essentially wrong for me. I put my trust in God and the Placement Office. I would go where I was needed and I would reinvent my understand of human need, break my ignorance of what poverty looks like. My biggest hesitation and, simultaneously, my biggest fascination is that I will have considerable freedom. I will not have a Drill Sargent over my shoulder making sure I get up in the morning or that I do my share. This is, perhaps, my biggest challenge at home and may be a smart lesson to embrace, or it may be personally naive.
Dates are "subject to change," of course, but if all goes as scheduled I will leave September 9, 2007 for staging in the U.S., will start training in Moldova on September 12 to November 16, and will be an official PC Volunteer from November 17, 2007 to November 16, 2009.
Scratch the "if I accept" because I just called the Peace Corps office and accepted! Here we go! On to a country about the size of Maryland with bountiful wine country and bountiful sunshine! (Which is very important because I get depressed when it's gloomy). On to a country where the women wear dress suits and almost everyone uses an outhouse. See! I wanted a hut in the Sahara and now I get a hut in wine country! Well, we'll see how "hut-like" my village is. I could be in a town of 10,000 or a village of 1,000. But onward ho!
But, leaving South Carolina, I realized that as Mike and Angie and the kids were driving away, it was already the beginning of Moldovan life. I was already saying goodbye. As their blue van drove away it, hit me. I'd said it outloud, but I hadn't felt it until then: I will not see you for another two point five, likely three, years. And I cried a little. But people are wonderful and strangers on the plane offered their assisntance. "If you EVER need ANYTHING in Moldova." It was unexpected and totally inspiring that someone would offer, out of the blue, for resources. People have so much to offer eachother if we take the time to talk. I've picked up three email addresses. All from men, ironically. Two of the men gave me the numbers of their ex or their female friend who was either in the Peace Corps or spoke Romanian. So many people are connected to eachother and we don't realize it unless we talk about it. So and so knows someone who went to Moldova. So and so knows someone who is in the Peace Corps. "Will you be able to date the locals?" That's not really my focus right now. Two of my favorite females have already looked up the "gorgeous Moldovan men" and the "lush green" mountains. All I pray for at this point is the freedom from expectations. I want to appreciate EVERYTHING.
Here is the address where you can write to me during training September 12 - Nov 16, 2007:
Samantha Marangell, PCT
Corpul Pacii
Str. Grigore Ureche 12
2001 Chisinau
Republica Moldova
**Make sure you don't use regular envelopes because apparently people are skeptical that money is inside. Use padded envelopes or manila ones.
** AND A BIG GOING AWAY PARTY SCHEDULED FOR FRIDAY AUG. 31st. Everyone's invited. Mom and dad, surprise! More details to come. **
Friday, July 6, 2007
The picture's getting clearer
Igor, the Placement Officer, called to discuss a project option with me. While he did not get the message that I had been completely shocked to be sent to his office at all, he was pleased to know that I was very flexible with project assignments. He thought I could be of broader use than teaching English alone. Not that there's anything wrong with teaching English...In fact, many of you know that I've considered actually being an English teacher! Anyway, he had a project in community development that he believed I was perfect for because I have a wider range of experiences and this organization invites pro-active volunteers. Meaning, I will likely be able to establish my own project(s) within the field.
What's the plus/minus of that? I like that I will be able to be more creative with my potential projects and I do like that there is still a little mystery about where I'll be going/what I'll be doing. Well it also means that I won't get a lot of specific information about my location before I leave, because I won't know where specifically they will place me until after my three months training. I may be in a town of 10,000 or in a teensie weensie village. While he could not discuss the specific country, he could tell me that it was in Eastern Europe (not Central Asia). That means I can narrow the countries down a bit more from the list I posted in the last entry. The existing contenders are: Albania, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Moldova, Romania, and Ukraine. There are a couple countries that I believe are Central Asia, but I could be mistaken. Those are: Georgia, Armenia, and Azerbaijan.
So, to make it simple, I'm no longer going to any country that ends in "-STAN." That's actually interesting because I just read The Kite Runner and sparked some hidden interest in that area (which I had no idea was called Central Asia).
If he didn't call back (he didn't) then he would put the Invitation through today before he left for the day and it would be sent out on Monday. So sometime while I'm soaking up the South Carolina lifestyle, sipping a drink, reading a book, or forgetting what day of the week it is, a package will arrive with more details about the specific country and assignment. It will be an official Invitation for placement.
I don't mind that it will come while I'm in South Carolina. I am relieved that it will come before I leave for Europe July 30th and I'm grateful that it will come before Lizzy's wedding. That way I will be able to discuss my plans in better detail when I see everyone at the wedding. It will almost certainly be the last time I see the majority of relatives before I leave. Which reminds me...the specific project he was referring to would leave the second week in September which is PERFECTLY ideal! I didn't want to leave in the earliest September days because that would not give me enough time to see people/get ready/have a going away party/do laundry after I get back from Europe on Aug. 27th.
NOW WHAT?! Now I can relax a bit. I don't feel so rushed to "get my life in order" because there will be time to do that before I leave in September. Now I can look back on all the craziness that was involved in getting me where I am (emotionally and on the Peace Corps track) and I know that I'm still going in the right direction. I might not be very good at recognizing the right path, but God's always been good at making sure I know which way NOT to go.
I believe there was a reason that I called two weeks ago and found out about the change in region and assignment. Oh! I forgot to mention. So after I was shocked to find out that I was being placed in Ea. Eur/Cen. Asia, I called the woman who originally nominated me ready to ask her why she decided to nominated me for a completely different program than she told me she would nominate me for. (It turns out, she nominated me for a project identical to one she did....fishy?) This was my thinking: as long as there was an objective reason, I wouldn't argue it, but if it was subjective or even spontaneous, I would see if I could get sent back to the Africa office. Well I will never know, because Barbara Adams no longer works for Peace Corps. What does that say, eh? Except simply: Samantha, you will never know why you got sent to another office, but that's just what happened. I think perhaps this happened without my knowing so that I couldn't alter it. I wasn't supposed to influence that because I don't ultimately know where I'm most needed. BUT, back to the start of this paragraph, I think there WAS A reason why I called, even if that reason wasn't so I could "fix it." I think it was necessary for me to mention that I was "very flexible" (with emphasis and silent hinting) in projects. That said, Igor was able to place me someplace where I would be trusted to be a pro-active, creative, multi-use volunteer.
Phew, long entry. To sum up: life is great, exciting, and infinitely beautiful. Every choice and decision weaves your life together in ways we will never fully understand. And I will never see the full picture until the end of my days (which, heaven forbid, doesn't happen for ages), but I trust that it will be lovely, complex, and a little imperfect.
What's the plus/minus of that? I like that I will be able to be more creative with my potential projects and I do like that there is still a little mystery about where I'll be going/what I'll be doing. Well it also means that I won't get a lot of specific information about my location before I leave, because I won't know where specifically they will place me until after my three months training. I may be in a town of 10,000 or in a teensie weensie village. While he could not discuss the specific country, he could tell me that it was in Eastern Europe (not Central Asia). That means I can narrow the countries down a bit more from the list I posted in the last entry. The existing contenders are: Albania, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Moldova, Romania, and Ukraine. There are a couple countries that I believe are Central Asia, but I could be mistaken. Those are: Georgia, Armenia, and Azerbaijan.
So, to make it simple, I'm no longer going to any country that ends in "-STAN." That's actually interesting because I just read The Kite Runner and sparked some hidden interest in that area (which I had no idea was called Central Asia).
If he didn't call back (he didn't) then he would put the Invitation through today before he left for the day and it would be sent out on Monday. So sometime while I'm soaking up the South Carolina lifestyle, sipping a drink, reading a book, or forgetting what day of the week it is, a package will arrive with more details about the specific country and assignment. It will be an official Invitation for placement.
I don't mind that it will come while I'm in South Carolina. I am relieved that it will come before I leave for Europe July 30th and I'm grateful that it will come before Lizzy's wedding. That way I will be able to discuss my plans in better detail when I see everyone at the wedding. It will almost certainly be the last time I see the majority of relatives before I leave. Which reminds me...the specific project he was referring to would leave the second week in September which is PERFECTLY ideal! I didn't want to leave in the earliest September days because that would not give me enough time to see people/get ready/have a going away party/do laundry after I get back from Europe on Aug. 27th.
NOW WHAT?! Now I can relax a bit. I don't feel so rushed to "get my life in order" because there will be time to do that before I leave in September. Now I can look back on all the craziness that was involved in getting me where I am (emotionally and on the Peace Corps track) and I know that I'm still going in the right direction. I might not be very good at recognizing the right path, but God's always been good at making sure I know which way NOT to go.
I believe there was a reason that I called two weeks ago and found out about the change in region and assignment. Oh! I forgot to mention. So after I was shocked to find out that I was being placed in Ea. Eur/Cen. Asia, I called the woman who originally nominated me ready to ask her why she decided to nominated me for a completely different program than she told me she would nominate me for. (It turns out, she nominated me for a project identical to one she did....fishy?) This was my thinking: as long as there was an objective reason, I wouldn't argue it, but if it was subjective or even spontaneous, I would see if I could get sent back to the Africa office. Well I will never know, because Barbara Adams no longer works for Peace Corps. What does that say, eh? Except simply: Samantha, you will never know why you got sent to another office, but that's just what happened. I think perhaps this happened without my knowing so that I couldn't alter it. I wasn't supposed to influence that because I don't ultimately know where I'm most needed. BUT, back to the start of this paragraph, I think there WAS A reason why I called, even if that reason wasn't so I could "fix it." I think it was necessary for me to mention that I was "very flexible" (with emphasis and silent hinting) in projects. That said, Igor was able to place me someplace where I would be trusted to be a pro-active, creative, multi-use volunteer.
Phew, long entry. To sum up: life is great, exciting, and infinitely beautiful. Every choice and decision weaves your life together in ways we will never fully understand. And I will never see the full picture until the end of my days (which, heaven forbid, doesn't happen for ages), but I trust that it will be lovely, complex, and a little imperfect.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
My First Shock
After a round-a-bout series of phone calls within the Placement Office, I spoke to a very helpful woman in the region I had been referred to. The shock, however, was that she was in the Europe, Mediterranean, Asia Office (EMA) NOT the African Office. When I expressed my surprise that my file had been sent to the EMA Office when I had been nominated for an African program, she precded to tell me the following:
According to my file, I was actually nominated for an Eastern European English-teaching assignment that left in September. (Total Shock)
I had been thinking this entire time that I had been nominated to an entirely different program, one in community development...in AFRICA. I suppose this is what it means when you say "I will go anywhere and do any job that you need me to do" - that you will actually GO ANYWHERE. I made sure she knew that once the intial shock wore out, I would be ultimately more accepting of any necessary assignment. I had been told yesterday that my file was under review for all sorts of assignments (though, apparently the location of these assignments was coincidentally left out of the convo). The placement assistant told me that programs leaving in September onward tend to go to Eastern Europe/Central Asia, countries such as: Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Georgia, Macedonia, Moldova, Romania, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Kyrzygz Republic, and Turkmenistan. There is a high need for "people like me" in these areas and I had a feeling that one of the biggest lessons I would first learn is how to live with surprises and altered plans. Wasn't the Peace Corps supposed to be my way of letting life lead ME for once? This surprise is just the first step in learning that lesson.
I guess this also proves that I should stop assuming I know what God has in store for me either. I was so sure I was supposed to go to Africa, though maybe it just took that desire to get me to apply in the first place. And I can always go another time. The more I got my expectations up, the more I questioned: I will probably end up where I least expect, and how will I handle that?
To tell you the truth, when the assistant asked me "How do you feel about Eastern Europe?" I wanted to say "I'm disappointed," but I didn't want my shock to make me cynical and selfish. When I said "I would not turn down an assignment unless I felt wholeheartedly that it was wrong for me," I really meant it. Now I'm just accepting that it might require a different type of emotional adjustment.
The good thing is that my family might feel a little bit more secure knowing that I'm not likely to end up in Africa.
And for everyone else, it probably means that internet will be slightly more attainable, or more frequently available than if I end up in Africa.
It will undoubtedly be a blessing in disguise, now I'm just preparing myself to be truly and genuinely open to whatever comes my way.
According to my file, I was actually nominated for an Eastern European English-teaching assignment that left in September. (Total Shock)
I had been thinking this entire time that I had been nominated to an entirely different program, one in community development...in AFRICA. I suppose this is what it means when you say "I will go anywhere and do any job that you need me to do" - that you will actually GO ANYWHERE. I made sure she knew that once the intial shock wore out, I would be ultimately more accepting of any necessary assignment. I had been told yesterday that my file was under review for all sorts of assignments (though, apparently the location of these assignments was coincidentally left out of the convo). The placement assistant told me that programs leaving in September onward tend to go to Eastern Europe/Central Asia, countries such as: Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Georgia, Macedonia, Moldova, Romania, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Kyrzygz Republic, and Turkmenistan. There is a high need for "people like me" in these areas and I had a feeling that one of the biggest lessons I would first learn is how to live with surprises and altered plans. Wasn't the Peace Corps supposed to be my way of letting life lead ME for once? This surprise is just the first step in learning that lesson.
I guess this also proves that I should stop assuming I know what God has in store for me either. I was so sure I was supposed to go to Africa, though maybe it just took that desire to get me to apply in the first place. And I can always go another time. The more I got my expectations up, the more I questioned: I will probably end up where I least expect, and how will I handle that?
To tell you the truth, when the assistant asked me "How do you feel about Eastern Europe?" I wanted to say "I'm disappointed," but I didn't want my shock to make me cynical and selfish. When I said "I would not turn down an assignment unless I felt wholeheartedly that it was wrong for me," I really meant it. Now I'm just accepting that it might require a different type of emotional adjustment.
The good thing is that my family might feel a little bit more secure knowing that I'm not likely to end up in Africa.
And for everyone else, it probably means that internet will be slightly more attainable, or more frequently available than if I end up in Africa.
It will undoubtedly be a blessing in disguise, now I'm just preparing myself to be truly and genuinely open to whatever comes my way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)