Strawberries, Stress, and Seminars

June 3, 2009

May was an amazing month, a month that felt as “productive” as I can risk saying. I know I’ve said this before, but I can’t believe so much time has passed since last writing. And I really understand why we’re here for two years….why productivity partly depends onto the time we put in.

The fact is that most of my activities are not “with” a Moldovan. I take that back, they are “with” Moldovans but they were not necessarily involved in every step…or even the initiators of the project. But I’m getting more done. In some ways this is contradictory because our goal is supposed to be helping people help themselves, but we are still working together, the activities are still involving the local youth, and the outcomes will still benefit all. Yes, if you can involve someone in the planning process, this is ideal, but just because you can’t do it one way doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it at all.

May…let me see…what made it go by so quickly?

I visited another village (without other Americans) and hung out with some other Moldovan ladies my own age who (shock!) aren’t married and (even still!) live in a village. I turned in three project proposals – some of which will undoubtedly flop – and now I am waiting for the funding period…the slow process that still involves me looking for sources. What else did I do in May? I finished up my English class (which started with 20 and ended with 3), finished collecting clothes for our clothing drive, and starting taking Russian lessons!

I’ve gotten the hang of only staying in Chisinau for one night at a time and that has really helped my mood. In the beginning, staying only one night was stressful because I was nervous about travel and that didn’t let me enjoy the night…but now…I’ve had enough of Chisinau and staying too much makes me antsy. But this is what learning is: realizing how I react in bizarre and unique situations and then adjusting my plans accordingly. And regardless, the weather has me so much more lighthearted that needing to stay out of the village longer doesn’t stress me out. I can much better enjoy the changes in events.

But I really am feeling quite comfortable with Moldova, with my service, with the possibilities of all of the things I can do before I leave – even if they aren’t “tangible.”

Ah, yes, this reminds me…Also in May I organized a seminar for some of the older girls in the village. Actually, I invited all students in grades 9-12. An NGO from Chisinau came to lead the seminar and I really enjoyed seeing the Moldovan perspective on interactive learning and seeing the girls reactions to activities that I take for granted (e.g. role play). But of course the only participants were the same girls that always participate. I suppose this makes sense; they are less nervous about coming, know what to expect, and are not as uncomfortable around the American. But I am trying to accept that I wasn’t necessarily receptive to opening up myself, my time, and my events, to all people because I was (ridiculously) worried about not being able to handle it…so as a result, I had sometimes excluded necessary parts of the young population. That’s why, this time, I went to every class and made sure each of the kids of that age group was notified. They still didn’t come. What is it, then? A competitive relationship with the active girls? Uninteresting topics? Bad timing? No interest in me? Bad translation?

So I came up with a competition that hopefully solves all of this. (And, importantly, forces me to plan a long series of events throughout summer.) The competition is for the “most active students” and will include everything from a poster contest, village clean up, and leadership seminars. All you have to do is participate enough to win 5 points and you can come with us on a trip (to either the waterfalls or the monastery). But if you include other people, you get more points. If you are more active at the events, more points. Picked up more trash, more points. Students with the most points will be recognized by the mayor (and the Peace Corps director) for their service to the community and will be acclaimed as the “most active students.” My main obstacle will be announcing every activity during summer, since I can no longer go to the school and talk from class to class. I tried collected the info of each class rep – who then promised to transmit all messages to classmates – but this hasn’t been as fruitful as I’d hoped. We’ll see. Even if it doesn’t turn out how I’d like, it still ensures a good handful of activities for the summer.

I also went to my second Moldovan wedding! The mayor’s son married the kindergarten director’s daughter and it was an incredibly beautiful event. By taking place in town, and at a restaurant, it differed slightly from the village wedding I went to last month. But the idea was the same, I recognized the traditions, and even though the food was more elaborate, I still saw the pattern in the plating. And I danced! (But not after ripping up my feet. Yes, this was unfortunate. When I got to Soroca, I called for directions and was told to go “in the valley.” I have never understood what this is supposed to mean and how on earth I am supposed to know which direction is “in the valley” when I am standing on a hill. But of course “in the valley” was the direction I didn’t go in. So my little 30 minute pre-wedding jaunt brought enough blisters to last me the next three weeks – without exaggeration – and bringing a new understanding of what it means to take care of yourself – and wounds – without running water. Thank God for antiseptic! The process of putting warm water and your feet in a bowl really isn’t that complicated. But at this point, I realize more that infection is not worth laziness.)

While this last month seems fast and productive, it was also stressful. This is crunch time…and not because I have to come up with ideas, but because I actually have expectations for the existing ideas!

Cultural note: washing laundry by hand does not get easier. As opposed to the ‘boiling water to drink” issue (which has become habitual), the labor-and-time-intensive laundry process just makes me more lazy. Perhaps this is partly because I know I’m leaving in 6 months and will arrive somewhere with a washing machine…but I’m just doing this to get through.

But we have strawberries! They are ripe and sweet and in abundance. I plan on eating loads of them everyday. Last year I kept forgetting. Or even if I remembered, I was bizarrely too lazy to pick fresh strawberries (really!) and so now that this is my last summer here I am trying to take advantage.

And I started French lessons again today! My Romanian tutor is the French teacher at the school. I figured my Romanian is down enough that I can mix in a language I should know already. But even if we are moving more quickly than someone who never learned French, it’s still frustratingly basic. “I haven’t done first year French in a while,” she said to me. But oh how fun it was to go into her garden and practice our French vocabulary while we picked her strawberries too!

I know that June will go by even more quickly because of all the events that spawn from May’s and because of visitors! It’s a good time for me to reanalyze my priorities and to start better appreciating what I have here.