Yesterday I turned in my “First Quarter Progress Report.” Putting aside the “I can’t believe I’m already filling this out” feeling, I was surprised by how much I could write about. Of course, it is all hypothetical at the moment – thing we’d like to look into and programs we’d like to develop…but it’s starting now. My understanding of pessimism is more rounded now, too. Sometimes the pessimists get a lot done – but I still believe that optimism is essential for the “durability factor.” If you don’t want to rely on grant after grant for funding (I don’t), you have to get a little creative and trusty in developing possible sources of continual funding.
What if there were no grants? What if there were no international investors or monetary aid programs? I may not know exactly what my role will be here, but it is absolutely not as “indefinite searcher of grants.” But I do like that we will also look for more youth seminar topics/speakers and I like that you are involving me. The hardest part is the communication and that, ironically, is not a language issue. It’s a “you like to go off on quick and distant tangents” issue.
But I am starting to feel the benefit of my incredibly flexible and undefined program. I had been prepping myself for uncertainty from the get go: where am I going? Rural or urban? Running water? Not knowing where in
Well, filling out my expected activities for the next quarter (which they call “trimesters” here even though there are four of them), I appreciated the range of areas: from computer software for the youth center to a pregnancy/child development manual with fellow volunteers. It’s all in the “this might die on the floor” planning stages, but it’s the option that thrills me. It was because of the promise of variety that I put myself through such a long process of ambiguity.
Even all Americans fill the spectrum between optimist and “realist” (as my favorite pessimists like to refer to themselves). But here, in addition to the range of attitudes, there is also the challenge of missing concepts to battle – such as brainstorming and saving computer documents.
On a personal note, January brought a new level of self-dependence and dehydration. To start with the dehydration: I love water. I love how I feel when I drink water. I have not been drinking water. My distiller is leaking so I’m onto system 2: boil and filter. It works just fine if you remember to do it. I know it works because the water out of the teapot is milky but the water I filter is clear. (Foolproof evidence, no?) The trick is you have to remember to do it before you’re thirsty. This past week, it’s been much more habitual. If I boil a teapot in the morning, it’s cool enough to filter by lunchtime. Much like my “If you want clean clothes” rant, I’m realizing what it means to do what you need to do to keep hydrated…not just to make catchy observations. It’s the difference between realizing how simple it is to boil water and actually doing it. Though I suppose the idea of self dependence means you do it even if it’s not simple.
On to the self-dependence: it just means I don’t get as upset when I don’t get the emails or calls I’m expecting. Sometimes I forget to expect them altogether. It also means not wanting to be sick. Of course sometimes we really do get painfully ill, but I’d like to keep it as un-mentally-derived as possible. I want to be healthy and active and useful. More importantly, I love that one teabag lasts for three cups of tea!
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